Competing on a Level Playing Field

How breaking a board in Taekwondo taught my daughter—and me—about confidence, courage, and gender expectations.

When my daughter was twelve, she came home proudly holding two broken blocks of wood. “Guess what?” she said. “I broke this with my foot today at Taekwondo.”

I stared at the one-inch-thick boards, stunned. She demonstrated the kick—fists clenched, body twisting, leg snapping upward with precision. Judged by traditional Korean standards, her movements were anything but “feminine.” But in that moment, I saw strength and joy in her motion—an energy that demanded space.

Our daughter learns Taekwondo

What Sports Teach Girls

In Korea, girls are taught to move modestly—hands folded, knees together, gestures contained. Sports challenge those limits. They help widen the range of how girls can express themselves, physically and emotionally. When girls compete equally with boys, they gain confidence and discover their own resilience.

My mother once caused a scandal in 1920s Pyongyang by playing sports in her long Korean skirt. She ran after balls, swam in rivers, and ignored the whispers. Her courage gave me permission to let my daughter do the same.

Sports don’t need to be about toughness or imitation of men’s games. They teach teamwork, leadership, discipline—and the freedom to feel strong without apology. When my daughter broke that board, she also broke through fear.

Her two pieces of wood now sit on our family’s “Hall of Fame” shelf, a reminder of the day she hit her target just right and claimed her own space in the world.